It’s often easy to find friends to hang out with when everything is going well. People love planning girls’ trips and double dates together. However, the true test of friendship can be when things are not the best. Whether someone is down with the flu or has just been diagnosed with cancer, that’s when you can tell who’s there for you.
It’s very simple to text, “Get well soon,” and then get on with life. However, true friends will drop what they are doing and find meaningful ways to help. “Thoughts and prayers” are not always enough. Actions can be the real litmus test.
1. Send a Care Package
If you have a friend or family member who is ill in another state — or country — it is not always practical to physically be there. You can still tell them you truly care by sending a useful package. Put together a cute gift box or basket with items that can help, depending on the situation. If your brother broke his leg while skiing, send him some activities to do while he is stuck in a cast. Word searches, sudoku puzzles, and books can help him pass the time before he can get back on his feet.
Or you could also send get-well-soon gifts with some wholesome comfort food to a loved one’s doorstep. There are online options that can help you deliver good ol’ chicken soup with just a few clicks. You could also send a gift card to some local eateries so they can choose what they want to eat. However, an ill person sometimes doesn’t have the energy to do the simplest tasks, so make it as easy as possible.
2. Help With Simple Tasks
Laundry and taking out the trash may seem like mundane chores. However, that may not be the case for someone who is sick. Hiring out help is not always feasible, so consider helping them out. They might enjoy the company and feel relieved that they don’t have to tackle some chores. Encourage your teens to volunteer some time, too. They can learn that not everything has to be done for money.
You can also gift them a deep house cleaning service if you live far away. Just knowing everything is spic and span can help make someone feel better. Depending on the season, you could also have someone help with weeds in the garden or shovel the snow; good karma can do wonders when you’re in a pickle.
3. Be Their Spokesperson
Put yourself in their shoes. If a close friend is undergoing treatment for a chronic illness, you can step in to communicate their wishes to everyone. If they want company — or privacy — let others know through a social media post or mass email. Of course, never divulge any personal information without their permission.
Help set up a meal train so everyone reaching out knows how to help. You can specify any food allergies or dietary restrictions, too. People can pick dates, so here are not seven casseroles in one day and nothing for the rest of the week.
You can also accompany your friend to doctors’ appointments to help process the diagnosis and treatment plan. People with kidney failure or cancer may be in and out of the hospital, and it can get overwhelming to keep up with all the meds, tests, and follow-ups. You can provide brief updates to loved ones so your friend doesn’t feel overwhelmed with dozens of unread texts.
4. Provide a Distraction
To distract them from the illness, suggest activities that do not involve blood draws and waiting rooms. Bring a few board games or suggest some uplifting movies to watch. You don’t have to finish the movie or the game in one sitting, either. It is just a means of providing them with something else to do.
Fresh air can also be the best medicine in many cases. Even if they must be in a car or a wheelchair, help them get out of the house or hospital. Natural sunlight can do wonders to boost someone’s mood and morale. Plus, they might see kids in the park or teens shooting hoops, which can be a pleasant change from the four walls of a sterile hospital room.
5. Post-Recovery Care
Even after your friend has healed, try to continue offering support. It may be modified, but they may still appreciate the help. Doctors may give a new mom the green light to do everything six weeks after giving birth via C-section.
However, she may still need help as she heals her body and cares for a tiny human. Watching the baby while mom and dad go on a date night can be a huge help. Carrying the laundry up the stairs or driving her to appointments can be a huge relief after major abdominal surgery.
Don’t underestimate how much difference even small acts of kindness can make. At the same time, take care of yourself too. Often, caregivers put themselves last. Remember, you need to fill your cup to pour for others.
